Should i argue

Learning how to steer an argument into a progressive direction requires practice, but you can start by acknowledging the things you might be doing wrong and replacing those behaviors with healthier, more constructive habits. This just perpetuates and escalates the argument.

It's a learned skill, but really focusing on hearing what the other person has to say will take you much further. Focus on their tone, their body language, their feelings, and the broad points they are making.

Repeat the points back to reaffirm that you were listening, express your own and then work on a solution. Sudhir Gadh , a board-certified psychiatrist with a private practice in New York City. Sometimes sealing it with a hug or handshake is enough, too. And maybe your own. Because listening, not arguing, is the best way to shift a perspective. This weekend I was in a long line and someone cut in front of me.

I began to argue with him which, of course, proved useless and only escalated the fight. Eventually a woman in the line simply drew a boundary. We all followed her lead and, eventually, he went to the back of the line. Arguments: 0. Boundaries: 1. When I went online to pay the parking fine, I tried to dispute the ticket. I thought I had a good case so I argued and, a few weeks later, lost the case. You have 1 free article s left this month.

You are reading your last free article for this month. Subscribe for unlimited access. Create an account to read 2 more. Business communication. Hugh Breakey does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

Argument is everywhere. From the kitchen table to the boardroom to the highest echelons of power, we all use argument to persuade, investigate new ideas, and make collective decisions.

Unfortunately, we often fail to consider the ethics of arguing. This makes it perilously easy to mistreat others — a critical concern in personal relationships, workplace decision-making and political deliberation. Everyone understands there are basic norms we should follow when arguing.

Logic and commonsense dictate that, when deliberating with others, we should be open to their views. We should listen carefully and try to understand their reasoning. This means the norms are valuable because they promote knowledge, insight and self-understanding. Read more: How to make good arguments at school and everywhere else. In a recent article, I contend that these norms of argument are also morally important.

Sometimes this is obvious. For example, norms of argument can overlap with commonsense ethical principles, like honesty. More importantly, but less obviously, being reasonable and open-minded ensures we treat our partners in argument in a consensual and reciprocal way. During arguments, people open themselves up to attaining worthwhile benefits, like understanding and truth.

Worse, if we change their minds by misleading or bamboozling them, this can amount to the serious wrongs of manipulation or intimidation. Instead, obeying the norms of argument shows respect for our partners in argument as intelligent, rational individuals.

It acknowledges they can change their minds based on reason.